A Worship Experience: Worship in Faith

Yesterday was a special day. I would always think that everyday is really a special day, well, at least i think. And expect, or maybe, just believe. Especially when I am about to sing as part of the music ministry. It makes me realize the grace of God upon me, that I never deserved, His love that is just so amazing. I remember how I love, that is my choice to love, and I would love just the people who are lovable or those who loves me back or loved me first. How different God's love is- a love that loved me not because of what I did, but just because He wants me to, period.


As I stood there, I wanted to do things right. I wanted to make things right, the way I was taught, during the first phase of training. I wanted to remind myself of the Scriptures that I can remember, the way I should stand, the way I should clap, that I should minimize breathing, because my tummy might get bigger, from how big it is already, the way I pronounce my lyrics, my movements, that I should minimize looking at the lyrics from where the sound mixers are, that I should minimize closing my eyes while singing, that I should look around and try to communicate what I am not understanding (it is hard to feel the lyrics while communicating it to the people, huh). I was so consumed of the way I should do it, being so conscious that one of my training leaders are around, observing.


The first service was "just" right. I did what I "should" be doing. While the techniques are not wrong at all, I tend to really be submerged into it, not realizing that I am finishing the service without really worshiping God the way He wants me to. I did not really want to finish it like that. No excitement, no expectations of God, just finishing the worship service. Yesterday was a little different, and I guess, life-changing thus, worth-sharing.


I was trying to sing the songs, when suddenly, I was reminded of the phrase "It's not about me". 


Before that, I was tired the whole night prior to that night. I practiced. We had the best musicians- passionate guitar player, the best keyboardist-drummer of all time, a dancing bass guitar player, singers who can pull off almost any genre of songs. Therefore, we were ready. But I wasn't, like maybe the past Saturday nights I was a privileged to be a part of the music ministry.


But last night was just so different. My wife noticed it too. Or maybe she just encouraged me, but I am convinced it was different. I felt it was, at least.


I worshiped God. And I just felt His presence and I think saw Him smile at me!


I looked up and gazed upon His beauty. And man, I hope I will be able to describe it as exact as how I experienced it, and hopefully be able to put it into words, what I experienced. I closed my eyes, trying to feel the lyrics and put life into them. Something tells me, it's by faith that God is pleased. It's believing in a God I can't see but realizing His sovereignty over my life, over my family's. There was nothing really extravagant about my family, nothing really depressing and life-and-death situation. Nothing new that should make me feel a little emotional. 


There was nothing so emotional about my life, that should make me cry and ask God for His presence to be felt, and worship Him because I feel bad. 


God never needs me. He will never need me. NEVER. But I was in great need of Him. I am the worst sinner of all. I feel like I have been a guilty offender of His goodness. I did things right before His eyes, and realizing how gracious and loving He is, makes me really fall on my knees and worship. There was nothing about me that is worthy of His presence. There will never be. And I like it that way. Makes me worship Him in Spirit and in Truth. And Spirit and Truth signifies FREEDOM to me. Where the Spirit of God is, there is Freedom. The truth sets me Free. And I am free indeed. I am no longer a man-pleaser, but a God-pleaser. While all those preparations are great, God deserves every excellence that i can give, from everything to my life as a whole. I just can't help it. Praise and worship is not just finishing the line-up but enjoying every single second of it, to honor God, be amazed at  His goodness and beauty, enjoying His presence, sitting on His lap and allow Him to fill me up (like that of Mary in contrast to Martha). I wanted to just pour out my appreciation of God. I wanted to intimately be with Him and like a child who wants something so desperately, I did not want to let His presence go. Such a wonderful worship time- worshiping Him alone, setting aside what I am going through and just enjoying Him. And I know, He is delighted to see me worship Him and my eyes focused on Him. I danced, clapped, sing with joy and love, all because He deserves it. How I hoped it never ended. 


Without faith in worship, it's just going to be an activity. A part of the Service. It will just be 4 songs, 2 fast and 2 slow, and 1 special number. Without faith, it's just going to be lyrics and music from talented artists. Faith, according to the Bible, is being sure of what I don't see, and certain of what I hope for. I am sure of God's goodness, I am sure of His love, I am sure  of His existence. I am certain of the hope that one day, things will get better, in my life, in my family's, in the people I pray for, etc. I am certain that God will never leave me and that He remains to be faithful, even when I am not, or I tend to forget, or maybe just not. God is just so awesome beyond description. I just love worshiping!


“And without faith it is impossible to please God, because anyone who comes to him must believe that he exists and that he rewards those who earnestly seek him.”- Hebrews 11:6