As a Catholic, I am used to suffer first before I can confidently approach God. I feel like I need to be crucified first, pray the prescribed prayer, and feel the guilt forever because of what I have done. Once I feel guilty, then I can approach God.
I have never wondered if it was TRUE, or should I just do it, because millions are doing it anyway. At least, I think millions are doing it. Anyway, I was fine, I thought. I was a very religious person. I felt a lot better than those who are professing they believe in God but never went and serve in church. I was not proud, I was just religious and felt peace because I am always in church. I thought.
As a Renewed Catholic, I can say that things has to change, first, in my mind, and ultimately in my heart.
I remember the first day I was confronted with this verse (which became my favorite):
Ephesians 2:8-9 For it is by grace you have been saved, through faith—and this not from yourselves, it is the gift of God— not by works, so that no one can boast.
What happened was, I was graciously invited for a small conversation with A.B., a friend I met during college. He was there at the canteen outside where my boarding house was located. Waiting for me, as I agreed to meet with him at that exact hour. I was not very interested. In fact, I told the landlady to tell him I was sleeping, but he insisted to wait so I just had to go out and tell him personally I planned something else and maybe just meet some other time. But he was very insistent.
"If you can't give your all and willing to fight and die to that something that you believe, you never really believed in the first place."
Radical. I have always believed that when doing something, give it your best shot, or else, you might lose your chance. I have always believe in giving it all, or none at all. If you can't give your all and willing to fight and die to that something that you believe, you never really believed in the first place.
"I am fine, kuya. In fact, I always go to church and serve. I have compassion for the poor. I fear God. I pray. Parang I don't see the reason why I have to be what you think I should be because I think I am fine." I said.
"Ah, talaga.?" he lovingly responded. "What if I tell you na those things fall short? Na what you just said were not what really matters?"
The conversation was heating up. He got me very interested. I guess I have to listen to what he is about to say, or else, lose my chance.
AB asked me to open his Bible and read Ephesians 2:8-9, if I am right, around 5 times. I thought he was fooling around already, but on the 3rd time, it got into me. On the 4th time, I was about to cry, my voice was shaking, the verses were starting to dawn deep within. It was just so true. It was getting inside of me, in my mind. In my heart. On the 5th time, I let the tears go. Like a baby, tears just kept flowing from my eyes. We were in a public fast-food chain. I was in a position where everybody can see me crying, but I did not care. He cared, so we had to swap seats so people wouldn't have to wonder why I was crying like crazy.
How can I be so misinformed? How come I haven't known this and just now? It's all timing. It's all God's grace. Life was never the same then.
There is no way I should think like the former thinking. God is so loving He sent His son to die for me and give me a destiny for my life, not just after I die, but now, right here.
Today, I say, I approach the throne of grace simply because of what Jesus did for me on the cross. He gave me the passes. And it wasn't a cheap ticket. It cost Him his life. He came so I can have life to the full. He endured the suffering in the cross so I can approach the throne of grace with confidence. I can freely worship a living God without even thinking of anything- only focusing on my eyes to the One who deserves my worship. A God who gave me an access to His blessings, to His goodness.
I am no different to anyone. The humility to accept Him in my life and His sovereignty is never because I wanted to be humble, but he enabled me to. I asked for God to fill me with every good thing from above. And he was generous enough to provide them. You can ask too.
If there is anything that I want to share with you- it is approaching God with confidence simply because of Him and through faith in what He has done. It is for freedom that God has set us free. I will never allow the world to measure me according to how it measures others. God has made me immeasurable. Gad has accepted me because of what Jesus did for me. It was never because of me, but because of what Jesus had done. I can ask and it will be given. I can knock, and the door shall be opened- all because of Jesus!
Ephesians 3:12 In him and through faith in him we may approach God with freedom and confidence.
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